Last night, RM and J-Hope went to a Chris Brown concert and, as expected, ARMY had a lot to say about it. I knew it would happen.

Chris Brown has a very serious and well-documented history of violence. In 2009, he pleaded guilty to felony assault involving his then-girlfriend Rihanna and was sentenced to five years of probation, 180 days of community labor and a year of domestic violence counseling. More recently, in July 2026, he pleaded guilty in the UK in connection with a 2023 nightclub attack on music producer Abraham Diaw.

I am not going to sit here and pretend that any of that doesn’t matter. It does. Violence against women is not something I take lightly, and I will always stand with women who have experienced it. I support accountability, I support survivors, and I support the Violence Against Women Act and the protections and services it was created to strengthen. VAWA was established to improve the response to domestic violence, dating violence, sexual assault and stalking, while helping survivors access support and hold offenders accountable.

And I want to be especially clear about something because I would never want this blog to sound as though I am dismissing survivors.

If you are a survivor of domestic violence or violence against women and seeing this situation, or seeing Hobi tag Chris Brown, brought up painful feelings for you, I understand why that could affect you differently. You have every right to feel hurt, angry, disappointed or uncomfortable. Your experience matters, and I would never tell you that you shouldn’t feel the way you feel. 

Supporting survivors does not require everyone to have the same reaction. Someone can look at what happened and decide, “I am not comfortable with this,” or “I don’t want to support this,” and that is a completely valid personal boundary. But that is not the same thing as deciding that RM or Hobi must have the same beliefs we do, or that they owe the fandom an explanation for their personal choices. So no, this isn’t me defending Chris Brown. What I am questioning is the reaction to RM and J-Hope.

I also want to acknowledge something else, because this conversation has gone beyond simply seeing them in the audience. Hobi tagged Chris Brown in his Instagram post, and I understand why that has made some ARMY feel more strongly about the situation. To some people, that tag feels different from simply attending a concert, and I can understand why that distinction matters to them.

You are entitled to look at that and feel uncomfortable, disappointed or even angry. That’s your opinion, and you’re entitled to it. What I don’t think we can do, though, is automatically decide what was in Hobi’s heart or what he intended by that tag. We don’t know. We can look at what happened, have our own feelings about it and even say, “I wouldn’t have done that.” But that is different from deciding that we know exactly what he believes or demanding that he explain himself to us. BTS have attended concerts by all kinds of artists. We don’t automatically know what every concert attendance, Instagram post, tag or song choice says about their personal beliefs. Sometimes it simply means they wanted to see an artist they enjoy. And that is where I think maturity comes in.

Being a fan doesn’t mean we all have to agree with everything BTS does. It means being able to have an opinion, even a strong one, without forgetting that they are adults who get to make their own choices. Your opinion is yours. My opinion is mine. Hobi’s intentions are his to know. We don’t have to agree, but we also don’t have to assume we know what was in his heart. RM and J-Hope are grown men. They have their own friends, interests, tastes and private lives. They are allowed to go to concerts, enjoy music and make choices that I may not make myself. Going to a Chris Brown concert or tagging him in a concert post does not automatically tell me everything RM or Hobi believe about that person, what they know about his history, or what was going through their minds in that moment. We don’t know.

I also understand the argument that BTS are influential, and I agree. Their words, actions and choices can have an impact because millions of people watch and listen to them. That is exactly why I think their actions can be discussed and questioned. But being influential does not mean they lose the right to make personal choices, nor does it mean we automatically know what they intended by those choices. We can acknowledge their influence while still respecting their autonomy. Their influence does not make them the property of their fandom. And I think that distinction matters. Being influential means people may look to you, talk about you and even be affected by what you do. It does not mean millions of people get a vote in how you spend your free time, who you see, what concerts you attend or what you post on your personal Instagram.

I can listen to an artist without agreeing with everything about that person. I can enjoy a song without approving of the choices the person who made it has made in their life. I think most of us understand that distinction when it comes to ourselves, so I don’t understand why we suddenly forget it when it comes to BTS. Maybe you don’t like Chris Brown. Maybe you don’t want to listen to his music or spend money on his concerts. That’s completely your choice, and I respect that. But RM and J-Hope are allowed to make their own choices too. That doesn’t mean we ignore violence against women. Quite the opposite. I think we should continue talking about it. We should continue supporting survivors and demanding accountability from people who hurt others. Being famous should never put someone above accountability. But there is a difference between holding someone accountable for their own actions and deciding that another adult has to explain their personal choices to us. And I think that distinction gets lost in fandom.

We love BTS so deeply that sometimes I think we forget they are still just people. They have lives outside of BTS. They have interests we may not understand. They will make decisions we agree with and decisions we don’t. That doesn’t mean we love them any less. And it doesn’t mean we have to agree with everything they do. But we do need to remember that loving someone is not the same thing as owning them. We don’t own their free time. We don’t own their friendships. We don’t get to decide who they can listen to, where they can go or whose concert they can attend. And honestly, I don’t want BTS to live that way.

I don’t want them to feel like every time they step outside, someone is going to analyze where they went, who they were with, who they tagged, what they posted and what it supposedly says about their beliefs. I want them to have a life. Go to a concert. Listen to music. Have dinner with friends. Laugh. Travel. Do things because they enjoy them. They don’t need to explain every single choice to ARMY. They don’t need our permission. They don’t need to make a statement every time someone on the internet decides they are uncomfortable with something. We are allowed to have our own boundaries. We are allowed to decide what we support and what we don’t. But so are they.

I can strongly believe that violence against women is wrong. I can support VAWA. I can stand with survivors. I can choose not to support Chris Brown because of his history. And I can still say that RM and J-Hope do not owe me an explanation for spending an evening at a concert or for making a personal social media choice. Those things can exist together. Maybe you feel differently. That’s okay. Maybe you believe their decision was disappointing. That’s okay too. You are entitled to your opinion. I am entitled to mine. And BTS are entitled to their lives.

Maybe we don’t always have to turn everything BTS does into a fandom crisis. Maybe sometimes we can simply say, “I wouldn’t have made that choice,” and leave it there. Because there is a big difference between caring about BTS and controlling BTS.  And I think that line is worth remembering.

The Bible says:  “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.” (John 8:7). So, before we cast the last stone, maybe we should ask ourselves why we are holding it in the first place. Now, whoever is without sin, cast the last stone.