I lost my husband to a rare form of cancer in 2019. There are days when I am haunted by flashbacks, nightmares, and intense anxiety related to that time. I have received a PTSD diagnosis following a near car accident, which was triggered by a distressing flashback of my husband’s struggle for breath inside the vehicle. The memories of his illness, calling 911, rushing to the hospital, and the countdown to his passing overwhelm me. Accepting his absence and the fear of growing old alone has been incredibly difficult. These memories dominate my thoughts constantly, making it hard to find peace. 

During the COVID pandemic in April 2020, while accompanying my friend on a grocery shopping trip, I heard “Boy with Luv” playing in the car. That moment marked my introduction to BTS. Even though I didn’t understand Korean, their music and personalities captivated me in an indescribable way. The 2019 MAMA Performance of Dionysus left a lasting impact on me. Watching shows like Eat Jin, Run BTS, and Bon Voyage became a source of comfort, especially during the challenging times of the pandemic. Despite battling depression, anxiety, and PTSD, a remarkable transformation happened. Since my husband’s passing, falling asleep had been an ongoing struggle, leading me to rely on multiple medications. However, a beautiful change unfolded when I discovered that listening to BTS songs became my lullaby. Their music became a soothing balm, allowing me to drift into peaceful sleep and find relief from the mental turmoil I endured. In May 2020, after the release of SUGA’s “Daechwita”, I officially became an Army. 

In November 2021, I had an amazing opportunity to attend the American Music Awards and see BTS perform live for the first time. Seeing them at the Jingle Ball 2021 was also a truly a remarkable moment. I made sure to catch all their concerts, attending a total of eight shows of both the “Permission to Dance” tour in Los Angeles and Las Vegas. During these events, I was fortunate enough to meet four incredible individuals who have become my close friends and an incredible support system for me. In 2022, I traveled to South Korea for the first time and visited both Busan and Seoul. I made it a point to visit all significant places related to BTS, including the Seoul Proof Exhibit and Hybe Building. During my trip, I had a special encounter with Jimin’s dad. I got to briefly share my story with him, and he kindly acknowledged it by shaking my hand. Additionally, I attended the Yet to Come LivePlay. At the start of 2023, I had a memorable encounter with SUGA at the Lakers Game. He saw me on the Jumbotron, and it was a short but incredibly sweet moment that will forever hold a special place in my heart. In May 2023, right before SUGA’s DDay tour kicked off, I took a trip to Daegu to delve into his musical roots by visiting all his schools. Additionally, I had the chance to visit Taehyung’s elementary school, which was a wonderful experience. I made a special stop at Gwanjali Beach to see the significant Bus Stop and visited the filming locations of “In the Soop” seasons 1 and 2. What’s even more extraordinary is that I had the incredible opportunity to stay in the same room as Namjoon at Lake 192 during that time. I’ve been fortunate enough to attend SUGA’s concerts in Oakland on both days and all three days in Los Angeles. I’m extremely excited and eagerly looking forward to attending all his shows in Singapore. 

I have been a fan of many artists before, but I have never put so much effort, time, and devotion into a boy band like BTS. BTS has been like a joyful medicine that brings so much happiness into my life. I am incredibly grateful to these seven men for helping me during the lowest point of my life. I became an ARMY in 2020, and I seize every opportunity to see them live and up close. When I listen to their music, watch their videos, buy their merchandise, or attend their concerts, it helps me keep myself together and prevents me from going insane. Over the past three years, following BTS has helped me cope with my grief, and the love I have received from other Army has made me believe that the universe has a way of helping us through difficult times in life. 

On this special day, I want to wish a heartfelt Happy 10th Anniversary to my seven favorite humans. Thank you for being there for me through your songs, guiding me and giving me strength. Your presence has helped me overcome the fear of growing old alone. I am grateful for the love you show to Army, your incredible music, and the meaningful messages you share. I cherish the journey of growing old together with you.